A limbo in the middle of the year.

Finding myself in a liminal space. Ending July the current state seems to be where I have arrived at a fork in the road. The calendar year has been anything but normal yet up until recently dealing with it has been fine on the running front. Good and well, even. And yet I am not sure if my body is telling me to keep off the gas a bit longer or to stay steady and weather the storm.

I had climbed the ladder up to a solid 14 mile run with some good runners in Charlotte in the swampy humidity and high July temps 8 days ago, took the next day off, had a good feeling easy run at 7:10s pace that Tuesday, and then the body started acting up. I used the signals to take 3 days off in a row, and was spending a lot of time thinking about a possible pattern where seemingly after hard long runs at a few now different instances I have “come down” with a very tight and sore chest centered around my sternum. Once, I told my cardiologist about a particular episode that showed it’s head after one of my marathons and he seemed to think that running hard for that duration can cause stress to the muscle lining wall around the ribs and that that was pretty much what I was feeling. It was nice to hear a specialist in the field of hearts not seem to think it was an organ problem. But is that what is going on? And why does it seem to show up a few days later and not right after? That discomfort was accompanied by a very short bout of fatigue and feeling achy where I laid low and rested and counted my blessings that that part went away quickly while the chest pains started to dissolve too, though not quite as quickly.

The past weekend in the mountains was too much of a temptation to not take advantage of the trails to skip running so I tested the waters with some shorter runs, but was still feeling it, though Sunday was less than Saturday, so it was making its way almost totally out – which was good news.

Today, a Monday, starting a new week, coming off a 2020 low of 14 miles, I decided to lace the shows back on and see what will be. Here, enter my current mood: even with time off, the Achilles is beginning to feel like a niggle that will not go away. A turd that just won’t flush. Combine that with wondering if I still need another week off to really get fresh because the toll of 2020 with no races in the calendar and the days just still blending together, I am feeling it a bit mentally too like a ship without a course. The heat has been relentless since late June and that certainly is adding to it as well.

But what centered me today were three things, on my run: Visualization, Bodily Attention, and Bringing my mind back to the present. Running can easily be a time where the mind wonders and roams, and that definitely is part of the appeal on being out there and clearing our head. Yet that can also be a negative if all we ever do is concern our self with future uncertainties and past frustrations. Each step is a new step, each mile a different tale, and a discipline that really helps calm the whirling winds in our brain and feelings is the reminder to bring it back to the present. And so by doing, take a look down at your body and see yourself in motion and marvel at this body you have moving through space and time and conjure that gratitude of your ability to be moving. That positive will help lift you, and that will also translate to the other piece I mentioned about bodily awareness. You might be having some nagging pains, but what about the parts of your body not experiencing discomfort? Place your mind there. Explore how you are feeling from head to toe to fingertips. We are not just our minds. This whole person is along for the run, and it does well to take stock of our whole person.

Until tomorrow,

Daniel

writing + running are better together

I do have a handwritten journal that i occasionally write in, but it's rare. This blog used to be a place i would recount just about all of my runs for a season of my life. Those were good days.

in 2020, our attention span has gotten shorter, and so has our writting - if we do it all. The iPhones and the like seem to be in our hand multiple hours a day, if not almost a third of our waking hours or more if we are honest. Let's just say i'm not proud of the weekly notification on Sunday to report on my screen time. But the world is changing and so are we.

i was thinking just today, about how in the show Entourage from 12-15 years ago where Ari Gold, the agent that was on his phone more than the other characters throughout the episodes which seemed stark back then, probably would be no different than jane doe or john smith on the day to day here in 2020.

and with those smart phones, the writing has been encouraged to shrink into 240 characters, or small bits of information that we can scroll while we digest a few sentences. Hell, even reading a book in this day in age takes a lot of practice just to calm the mind and focus. And when you may read a book you'll probably notice that the chapters are much shorter than the days of old, no doubt to help keep the reader engaged. i guess in someways its sad, but we can see the future and where this evolution is taking us, which, does leave a little of the fraught behind from the troublesome worry that was happening more at the precipice of this shirt during the advent of social media and quicker smartphones.

All that to say, while the running log has been part of mans running since the quill and papyrus, the newest method of a running record, the length there has also been encouraged to become shorter. Well, with the ease of use it has also kept me from longer writing post runs, which always seems to help me unpack my thoughts that often come to me on those miles of solitude. But today, i am banging some keys and am happy to be here.

so, about that running stuff....

...today's run was cool. Always a man of adventure seeking, I left the house not exactly knowing were I was going to go run, but just knew I wanted semi flat, and some shade, and not too far of a drive. As I headed down Ballantyne Commons Parkway, I crossed over Elm Lane and started getting a better idea of where to begin. I turned on Community House towards Johnston Rd, and slid into the Hampton Inn parking lot. Figured I would track south on Community House southward and figure it out from there.

I knew i needed a run that was more than just maintenance. I gave myself the day off yesterday, and went easy on Sunday after my 5k Saturday so the legs needed a little workout, but didn't want to go too hard with a hopeful Mile TT this coming Saturday. And with doing some shorter reps last week, and realizing my threshold runs is where I needed to focus, I decided to do about a 25 min tempo, where I would try and progress from easy moderate to sub 6 min pace. Given the odd number of minutes, and that I only wanted the full run to be about 50 mins since it was already pretty hot and sunny out, after 12 mins of easy warm up i stopped to stretch and decided i would make the tempo broken up into 5 min blocks, trying to cut down each one, would add a 1 min stride turnover fast clip to give me 12 min cool down back for a perfect 50 mins. (realizing now as i type this in my heat haze mind i ended at 48 mins, lol oh well).

My Achilles were pretty sore in the warm up, but once i started picking up the pace after stopping to stretch it was fine. i succeeded in clipping down, but did kind of stall on the 4th rep (hills though).  i'll say this was a good run, and that i am handling/acclimating the heat pretty well here in Mid July.

The best part of this run experience was when i was jogging back passing the Hampton Inn, i noticed their outdoor pool (not a sole out there - it was 9:30am afterall), and being hot and tempted, i walked over to the gate, reach over to open it, slid my shoes off, and took a dip. A worker saw me and for a second thought was going to bust me, but instead asked how the pool was and if i wanted some water to drink. I at first said no, but given the unique position i was in thought this would really be the cherry on top, so i said "sure if you are offering!" .... as i walked back to my car, her was in the parking lot, and no doubt was scratching his head as he saw me get in the car and drive off. hahah.