Finding myself in a liminal space. Ending July the current
state seems to be where I have arrived at a fork in the road. The calendar year
has been anything but normal yet up until recently dealing with it has been
fine on the running front. Good and well, even. And yet I am not sure if my
body is telling me to keep off the gas a bit longer or to stay steady and
weather the storm.
I had climbed the ladder up to a solid 14 mile run with some
good runners in Charlotte in the swampy humidity and high July temps 8 days ago,
took the next day off, had a good feeling easy run at 7:10s pace that Tuesday,
and then the body started acting up. I used the signals to take 3 days off in a
row, and was spending a lot of time thinking about a possible pattern where
seemingly after hard long runs at a few now different instances I have “come
down” with a very tight and sore chest centered around my sternum. Once, I told
my cardiologist about a particular episode that showed it’s head after one of
my marathons and he seemed to think that running hard for that duration can
cause stress to the muscle lining wall around the ribs and that that was pretty
much what I was feeling. It was nice to hear a specialist in the field of
hearts not seem to think it was an organ problem. But is that what is going on?
And why does it seem to show up a few days later and not right after? That
discomfort was accompanied by a very short bout of fatigue and feeling achy
where I laid low and rested and counted my blessings that that part went away
quickly while the chest pains started to dissolve too, though not quite as
quickly.
The past weekend in the mountains was too much of a
temptation to not take advantage of the trails to skip running so I tested the
waters with some shorter runs, but was still feeling it, though Sunday was less
than Saturday, so it was making its way almost totally out – which was good
news.
Today, a Monday, starting a new week, coming off a 2020 low
of 14 miles, I decided to lace the shows back on and see what will be. Here,
enter my current mood: even with time off, the Achilles is beginning to feel
like a niggle that will not go away. A turd that just won’t flush. Combine that
with wondering if I still need another week off to really get fresh because the
toll of 2020 with no races in the calendar and the days just still blending
together, I am feeling it a bit mentally too like a ship without a course. The
heat has been relentless since late June and that certainly is adding to it as
well.
But what centered me today were three things, on my run:
Visualization, Bodily Attention, and Bringing my mind back to the present.
Running can easily be a time where the mind wonders and roams, and that definitely
is part of the appeal on being out there and clearing our head. Yet that can
also be a negative if all we ever do is concern our self with future
uncertainties and past frustrations. Each step is a new step, each mile a different
tale, and a discipline that really helps calm the whirling winds in our brain
and feelings is the reminder to bring it back to the present. And so by doing,
take a look down at your body and see yourself in motion and marvel at this
body you have moving through space and time and conjure that gratitude of your
ability to be moving. That positive will help lift you, and that will also translate
to the other piece I mentioned about bodily awareness. You might be having some
nagging pains, but what about the parts of your body not experiencing
discomfort? Place your mind there. Explore how you are feeling from head to toe
to fingertips. We are not just our minds. This whole person is along for the
run, and it does well to take stock of our whole person.
Until tomorrow,
Daniel
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