Post Cycle and Pre Race

 10 years ago this very day I had just finished racing my first 26.2

Granted I had completed a run where I was signed up for a marathon back in February of the same year, but on 12.11.10 I acquired my first 26.2mile result because I had not gone the wrong way and ran an extra 3 miles 

so where am i a decade later? well, I'm here on a Friday morning of a marathon race weekend contemplating the future race less than 48 hours away, and the last 15 weeks of my training.

The present can always seem a long way away from the future and the past, depending on how and what things you are referring it to, yet I know it won't be long until I am looking back at this future race with a lot of thoughts that might include surprise and regret. I can't change now what will happen then and I cant go back and change what occurred either. It's time to go to the line and take the test with what I have and what I can do then, in that moment.

I have hopes now. That thing that is a gift in the present to help walk into the unknown future. I have confidence from the past. That thing that is a gift for having handled the present at that time well. I'm looking to merge Hope and Confidence sunday morning in the present to produce something I never have done; a covering of 26.2 miles faster than all my previous efforts. A confident hope that it is under 2 hours and 50 minutes, and a dream hope that it is 2:45 or even faster. 

The confidence is the highest it's been to get a new PR. For the first time since college, I joined a virtual team of runners under a coaching plan for a 15 week buildup into the race. I was the most focused and consistent for that amount of time than I ever have been going into a marathon, with week after week of solid mileage and quality hard and fast running workouts. I have felt my pace lower naturally from getting fit, and have produced good checkmarks in time trials and small races against buddies during the course that have been signposts signaling that the work is yielding desired results. Still, to take off such an amount of time from my previous best of 2:53, and hit my dream goal, will be a very tough test. 

This being my 9th marathon, I am excited to have the race unfold and be in it. I know that when I come out I will be different than before I went in. Each mile will have a little tale, and the final 6 miles will surely be ones that will reach down deep and extract thoughts and wills that we typically can't access. it's exciting to have the opportunity to compete, against others, the clock, and myself. 

The tightrope walking will begin once the gun goes off, needing to hold steady in the beginning and settle in, keeping the reigns on, yet acclimating just enough to begin to groove in a pace that will set me up towards the goals and hopes I have. The first big part of the test will come in the 14th mile, when I will have to be honest with myself and check in to see how good I am feeling for the second half of the race. Staying patient over the next 7 miles while focusing in on not dropping off timewise and getting ready to execute the last 10 kilometers once I hit the 20 mile mark on the race. Because, just now, I stopped writing this and looked up splits from my last marathon which was NY 2019. Through 20 miles I was on 2:46 pace (6:21 per mile). The last 10k I dropped and ran that portion in 7:32 pace (71 seconds slower per mile). 

That last 10k, this Sunday, is where I will have the chance to make the difference. Training wise I could be faster at 20 miles and hold on and really get a good time, but I know now that I have done 20 miles in the past at this pace, now it's just a matter of holding on. 

Now through race day I'll be thinking about all the things that I can pocket in my head to inspire me to push past the body and voice that tells me it hurts, and overcome it reaching deep to know that others are behind me, that I have sacrificed a lot to put my self in this position, and that deep down there is the opportunity to realize a dream and a hope.