I'm on the onramp interstate bridge over the lowlands of gulf coast biloxi at the apex of the course's elevation, and also at the height of the pain I will have to sustain for day's journey. It's here the questioning thoughts come the loudest, and at me the most defenseless, asking me "why?"...."how?"...."can you?". It's a space I have experienced times before, and being able to witness the shift might have lessened the doubt, but it's still- i'm coming to find out- a fight that will seemingly always have to be faced when undertaking a marathon.
The shift began with the seed around mile 15. I had just finished the 14th mile doing surges off and on to get back the time I had lost stopping to use the bathroom. I guestimate it cost me about 40 seconds with room for more loss if the surging did take out more of me than otherwise would. I ran about a 5:59 mile but with the stopping it really was a 6:35, which was 15 seconds off the pace I had been for the whole race - right at my low range of pace, 6:20. 6:20 gives me a 245 marathon, and 629 gives me a sub 250 marathon, which is what i was hoping to do going into this race.
last year at nyc i was not as fit as i am this year, and i was able to get to the 20 mile check mark in 620 pace, so i was not too worried about getting to 20 in the same pace, and for 14 miles it felt easy despite the headwind that was starting to be felt a little more strongly, whether it was faster or not i am not sure.
the marathon course was known to be flat as it went along the gulf almost in entirety, on hwy 90, going west to easy, from Pass Christian to Biloxi. The wildcards, as pretty much with any race, is weather: wind and temp/humidity. race morning was a mid 50 degree start temp with humidity high. maybe a slight breeze in the air, but once we started running into the direction of east northeast it was noticeably a strong enough wind that would be sustained the entire morning of racing. around mile 16 the sun peeked out from behind the blanket of white low hanging clouds, and the the temperature crept up to about 60-62 degrees by the time we started reaching the finish line.
i've certainly raced in worse, and nothing i hope ever tops Boston 2012, but this was not as ideal as you would want. But that is part of the sport. always has, always will be, and equal as each person has to go through it at the same time.
a packed school bus took me out to the start line, on a back seat beside an older locale who was quite chatty with me during the ride, telling he had done all of the gulf coast marathons (this being the 5th one). I had a bagel a took some small bites on, as the coffee i drank from the hotel on the walk to the bus started to wake me up. for the first time I had began taking sips of Maurten sports drink on the bus ride over, hydrating and getting the fuel in my body. I drank it a couple times this past training cycle before some runs, and really liked and felt good effects from it. I was hoping here, i could drink enough to get the right amount, but also not too much where i'd have to stop and pee later in the race. Wishful thinking about not having to use the bathroom.
a real race in a pandemic is rare, turns out. this had to be one of no more than a handful of marathons open to public entries that has gone on since March 2020. that being said, the start featured a 4 man wide rolling start for the folks in the first wave, where i was. i found a last second open space of 4 wide about 4 rows back, so when the gun went off i waited with my row until we were up at the line to begin. they wanted the folks in front to run about 15 yards in front before the next line went. and so it begins....
the first few miles i wanted to really stay conservative, but was surprised at the speed with which these front runners set out. in the previous 4 years of this race, a low 250 finish would be a podium spot. maybe an average of 7-10 folks were under 3 hours if im remembering correctly. so the first half mile pace of 545 where folks are speeding on up ahead, and folks close to me and right behind me, it was established this race had drawn more folks than would have otherwise in a non pandemic. the first mile clicked 6:09, about 15 seconds faster than i wanted or assumed would hit, but it was only time to settle in and let the average start accruing. The second mile the pace began to settle and hit 616, but still a little quick. Mile three i found the pace and rhythm, hitting 620 on the nose. A few runners around me had formed just behind me. I happened to be the leader for most of the folks I was able to run with. Yet, there was a lone runner running a few paces off the the right of me, about a yard in front, that i was working off of visually to help me groove. I liked this, i had my pacer and he had a good cadence and effortless stride which was great to watch and remember for my form as we clicked off early miles.
Another thing i did this race that I hadn't in the past was start gel fueling early. I thought about taking a gel before the race, but only having 3, and having the sports drink i didn't think I should. So, about 10 minutes into the race, I opened the first pouch, the only caffeinated one, and took a small first sip. I nursed this one slowly over the next 30 minutes. The only thing around this time that caused concern so early in the race was I could feel the liquids I had earlier starting to press on my bladder. Yikes. Looks like i was going to face having to deal with this pressure and mental distraction for the next two and a half hours, of was going to have to stop and lose time. I quickly decided that while I probably would have to inevitably stop, i was going to wait so i didn't run into a situation where i emptied the fluids too soon and have another occurrence of needing to go again during the race. At Disney marathon in 2019 i stopped around mile 7 and that was it for the race, so i was going to go at least until mile 7 and then reassess. I noticed early on that portapottys were about every other mile at most, so i counted on the fact there would be a spot when i needed it.
Cruising past the first 10k right on pace, I then said let’s get to 10 miles before we entertain stopping. Clicked that, the. Said okay let’s get to half way. Can’t let the splits look poor, thinking of the outside perspective on anyone tracking me. I was at the point though where the pressure was becoming too great to ignore despite the loss in time I would sustain. As soon as I clicked the half way point in 122:30 I ducked into the only portapotty I would hit that day (minus the one on my walk back from bourbon street two hand-grenades later nearing midnight in New Orleans). The watch rattled off about 40 seconds in the stop. Strava later would show moving time 2;50:20 compared to the official time of 2:50:59, so there you have it.
Okay, what’s done is done. Now to see if I can get back to the little pack I was in and keep it rolling.
They didn’t look that far away so I scooted out quick, but told myself you don’t need to get it all back at once so I settled on using incremental surges based on the road cones on the course to chip away at it. I wanted to catch them in the next couple of miles. Once I caught the first two I just kept going, back in front, and kept my sights on the other one who was holding strong seemingly while these other two were definitely slowing.
Mile 15, the mile after the surges, I go back to the aforementioned inevitable shift, began occurring, where the first thoughts begin their attack with dull arrows signaling the body is beginning to fatigue. Easy: ignore and reset mind to the 20 mile mark. That was my endgame plan- get there with some life and see what happens. The challenge was from 16-20 keeping life and not letting the pace slip. This was going to be some work.
I managed to finally get to 20 miles with some life in my legs, or at least the absence of total death, but it was still going to prove to be a tough test to advance the next 6.2 miles. The shutting off of the mind from negative thoughts, and constantly going back to force feeding positivity was the play these few miles. My pace was now above my high goal of 629, and i couldn't get it back down. I was in the 640s now, and at the same time trying to "save" my legs, which was brutal. after finally reaching it, the mind game began...
get to 5 to go: *sounds doable... get to 4 to go; *i think i can do this. get to 5k to go; *ive done this so much i surely can make it. 2 miles to go: *one more mile then its the last mile to go. and here, 2 miles to go, the course takes a drastic turn.
over the last mile or two I have begun implementing various mental tricks to keep the time and distance passing. I started to look to the horizon in the distance with the tall Beau Rivage casino standing tallest among the destinations buildings, as a landmark to grow: advance towards it making the distant silhouette become larger. i needed this ultimate destination mindset at the moment as the here and now of the present was beginning more and more difficult to sit with. So luckily, the lighthouse that was featured in promotional pictures that i saw going into the race, was finally upon me. I could make it out far enough away, it provided a good object to set my sights on. Once I hit it, the daunting surprising uphill onramp to interstate 25th mile came upon us.
On the website they mentioned they had to rearrange the finish with the recent hurricane damage, but i hadn't paid close enough attention that this caught me very unexpectedly. Part of me welcomed the change in course, with its curve, uphill, and new sights as we just had entered into Biloxi, but the incline did its thing and slowed me to my slowest mile of the day. but being inside 2 miles i was pressing on, having come so far that i wasn't going to let the days work go to waste. Thinking, "how cruel to put the only hard terrain of the course when we are almost at our breaking point, but On i pushed, cresting the hill and seeing runners come back towards me after having made a hairpin U turn...the only thing was there were two of these marks: the first for the half marathoner, which i went into, only to be course corrected by thankfully an official straightening me out-still costing me some time to regroup and get back towards our turnaround...another tenth or two of a miles ahead...ugh,
after pivoting and heel turning, i came back getting some downhill only to quickly but not detrimentally, turned my foot in a grate that went across the ramp. close call. i rode the downhill, on my last mile of the course, and seeing the around the block finish where we would be done, and just kept trying to press until i was "allowed" to be finished. At that turnaround, i saw the two guys I caught up to after my pee break and subsequently left, nearing me, and thus spurring me on which was a welcomed and needed motivation. With less than a half mile ago, i kept expecting them to come up on me, but i guess i kept up enough...
2:50:59. I can say i'm a 250 marathoner...barely. while that is not as nice as i was hoping going in, to go earn a 249 or better, i will be thankful for it considering the wind, the pee, and the weather, etc. im thankful to get better.
