Raintree 21 miler

Started off immediately feeling a little better and recovered, having taken yesterday off and the runs before so slow, but still the first 5 miles I couldn’t get out of the slow funk I’d been in and sub 8 seemed still a bit of a chore. But after 5 miles, I took a Gu brand gel and that plus I guess just getting loose and warmed up I started to get in a little bit of a better rhythm. 5-9 as I ran down Rea and onto Bevington, I clipped away nicely and as I got into the 9th mile heading back towards the house I began to feel the first sign of fatigue. I’ll say the miles solo and with no headphones or anything seemed to go by peacefully and quickly. I made it back home as planned shortly after 10am where Mike Oelz was waiting for me to join in. I was at about 11.8 here, and I quickly grabbed my first ever Maurten gel and switched into my new Zoom Flys, and away we went. Holy cow. The immediate feel of the new shoes felt like someone gave me leg transplants. I had springs on my feet. I have never felt a show like this. The result was a dip below 7:30 pace, but I knew Oelz had to get warmed up and I didn’t want to get too eager so I actually backed off a bit as we settled into conversational pace. More hills as we ventured up Four Mile Creek, and the time started ticking away nicely with the company. At mile 16 Oelz wished to back off and allow me to go, which was fine. I was starting to feel the itch to drop some miles and wanted to capitalize in doing so at this point of the run. I turned into Ballantyne Commons and into Alexa here solo again, and got excited as I knew was going to complete 20 with out a collapse. More hills during this stretch and back out to Providence Rd where I was past 18 miles. On the sidewalk past Latin I started to glide with ease and joy, and realized I was going to reach home past 20 miles so I started thinking about this being a great Run where id finish it at 21. Down the home stretch I passed home at 20.5 and so tacked on an extra half mile and finished the run with my last mile being my fastest of the day. The second half of the run was also a big negative split. A great confidence boost with the wheel falling off last week, and to pull it off with all the hills today, I’m seeing the glass half full (only not fully full, in a perfect world I would have liked the overall pace quicker, but each run has its own design-how we go along with it is what counts). The Maurten gel surely was also a great weapon. That stuff gave me a big second wind. Hard to see myself getting to the pace that will yield a PR, which has been looming in my head since my half marathon PR in Nov., but the taper is here, and race day can have some magic-especially at Magic Kingdom?! :). 

running ruminations

one way to look at running is to consider the runner as a fitness receptacle vessel. the metaphor occurred to me on my run this evening as I was about 30 minutes into the run, and started to contemplate my current level of fitness. I've noticed I have gotten stronger overall physically and mentally being able to knock off runs of certain distance and pace with greater ease, as well as feeling my current state in this approaching summit of training before the taper where the compounded toll of the pyramid is being noticed. The notion of a receptacle comes to mind as I have gotten here by a building phase of stretching what I have been able to absorb, and then being able to fill a larger amount of fitness the next week, similar to a weight lifter who breaks his muscles, only to find them grown back in stronger after the recovery. And so, as a runner, we are either using the container of fitness that we have built, sustaining it, allowing it to shrink, or expanding it - pushing the envelope of our boundaries hoping that we might not shatter it too much, so we can have it repaired stronger and able to hold more fitness, as we then get it ready to put on display at our contest.

For me, tonight, it was with uncertain reservation that I eschewed my weighed option of pushing some miles on the run at a faster pace - a trade off of perhaps a better decision - in order to be ready to maximize my effort on the pinnacled 20 miler this weekend, by keeping tonight full duration in cruise control.

Alas, around the 7th mile, as I sauntered onto Strawberry Ln., did I serendipitously slide into some swifter segments of the final sail, at least in feeling. The run felt very nice and comfortable. I am in good spirits and ready to take on the outpouring of the rest of the final hard week into my container before I begin the sharpening and recovery into Disney

a return to the PR streets

as i thought of a title and settled on the above, it was just then that it dawned on my that my hometown marathon (and half...and 5k) annual event has provided the grounds for a perfect 1000 batting average of personal records in my running career. A lucky, 3 for 3...2 fulls and 1 half.

keeping with the theme of late to the party realizations, with not registering for the event until yesterday, and not even considering what a PR pace would mean...until last night as i lay in bed, the prospects of earning a lifetime best as even a thought at this seemingly unspectacular point in my running were not put into conscious, sub or otherwise, were only given with the slightest of possibility. 

The temperature and weather overall (aside from a *slight* headwind...only in places) were indeed spectacular, and my preparations- diet, sleep, health were all gracefully present....but my training seemed to - in looking back - only reveal a decent trajectory to approaching what i had done back when i was getting Half and Full PRs back in 2011-2012, still seeming a few months away - if i were to keep the discipline. Yet on a really good day, with everything working in my favor - and as i had mentioned, those things were checking off...perhaps i had a slim outside shot. And there before me, within the first two miles what laid before me was no doubt the secret ingredient that would launch me into a really good chance or keeping Charlotte perfect with it's doling out of running high-marks. 

Brian Baum was found moments before as we gathered at the start of the race, and with the gun - he, naturally, went, and i settled back - but quickly realizing the pace a bit swifter than anticipated.

For me, with running, you have to be disciplined. The marathon being the most requisite. Yet with the half marathon, it's not so short that you go into great lactic buildup with too quick a start like a 5k, and not so long that you bonk hard and have a death march like the full. Even the 10k i think can be a little more delicate with having to hold the thin line on pace, and endurance. The half no doubt is critical, but as an experienced runner may tell you - you know instinctively what your pace more or less feels like (usually) and what your pace/economy needs to be to keep it even, or with enough gas to still drop and not leave too much early race time out on the course. 

so there i was, with baum coming to me at mile 2...on a downhill...okay. I know i hit the downs a little faster than most given my longer legs, but i was not in a place that felt overwhelmingly too fast to sustain for 13.1 miles. something i think about, today being no different, is, if i'm ahead of the pace a little bit it at least gives me a cushion. Sometimes this backfires (see Chicago 2017), but sometimes if you are really being honest with yourself and feeling like a gambler, it can really pay off. Ideally, you might like to negative split, but sometimes you just have to go with it and hang on. That's what is inspiring me lately...i think from reading Bill Rodgers book "marathoning" where he basically just went for it and came out out of the gates into world class stardom by hitting it hard early. 

Another indicator i was in a little bit of uncharted territory was being in front of the Charlotte Running legend, Paul Mainwaring. Now, he was running the Full - so I won't pretend anything here, but we shot a few encouraging messages to each other last night and he told me he would be looking for 6:15 pace. What kind of got me wondering, was seeing Dan Matena at the Expo and his spurring me on to get after it and perhaps check in with those guys who might be hitting my pace. i don't think i was even serious about wearing flats until he gave me the gas to get in race mode. thankful for that. 

the first 3 miles were even. 607, and 1824 at three miles (didn't get mile 2) *note: my garmin was a bit off early from the downtime miles, perhaps pinging signals off the skyscrapers. 6:28 was my pace for my old PR, so there i was with a bit of that cushion i was talking about. At this point Baum was basically beside me (minimal) or just out in front. There wasn't much package around, with a group (paul, the winning female in the half, and another) and another guy who popped in and out for the first 8 miles....then Baum, also alone...playing carrot to my donkey :) 

on the rolling course, i would gain ground on the downhills and he would retake on the ups. Only once on the ups would i surge past him...going up providence for a bit when i felt my pace slack off and i knew it was too early to start succumbing to any thoughts of "where i should be". 

the course was laced with nice pockets of live music, speakers, and spectators encouraging and providing needed boosts to spur me along. to note: the live band on providence playing a song that escapes me now - a dixie tune with nice acoustic guitar, Bruce Springsteen "I'm on fire", brian's wife Sue on the bike cheering me, Megan Filnow cheering me, Hovis cheering me, a stranger on Morehead giving great encouragement (she seemed like a coach the way she knew what to say, seeing me), and a Rolling Stones tune - that is also escaping me at the moment (i'm a little tired writing this, while watching Bama and LSU) and of course the whole way of seeing Baum, being in front of the great Paul - for the first 8 miles...and being in place to get a PR with the clock ticking on my age! 

as Baum would go on to start making his gap grow from mile 9 (up morehead) to the end, i was able to hold on and knew - just from being aware of how i felt, that i could hang on to the pace if i stayed focused. Getting through latta park was a chore, but once I started going down on West Blvd and had a couple miles to go I ran with confidence and increased joy. I thought of a lot of things....all the runs i've done....my training....my family....my friends out there racing, here and elsewhere (josh brewer doing Shut In in Asheville)....and fed off any fan that offered support, in to the end. I also thought of my form, which lately i've paid more attention to, and really think it is key when you get tired as you can keep the fall off at bay with being aware and intentionally keeping as an efficient (think choppy....steps per minute) stride as can be. 

on the last 5k of the race I thought i was going to hold on to a sub 124, but closing I was easily in under 123....122:26 for a PR by 2 mins and 20 seconds.
*my official 10mile split was a PR (unofficial as splits don't technically count in running) - 1:02:34 (6:15 pace)...by almost 4 minutes!

what a joyous blessing it was to be able to etch a new PR on this almost 35 year old body after more than half a lifetime of running. onward we go! 

https://connect.garmin.com/modern/activity/3135171917 - splits via garmin (a little off)

https://runsignup.com/Race/Results/17795/IndividualResult/FNcN?#U31748639 - race results
13th overall, 6th age group 30-34, 12th male overall 6:18 pace

pulling

I've seemed to feel the pull to write more again, as of late. the blog was a labor of love when i began it when I had decided to undertake my first marathon, and while it took time, it seemed to really bring me balance, joy, and an outlet that i didn't know i had at my disposal to help vent thoughts and feelings that seemed to come in large doses when i ran. Running has always been a source of great thought, and contemplative time, but i guess it wasn't until i really began to open up and pen them on the blog that i found this great platform to help me sort through and organize and journal the life going on under my moving feet and in between my swirling thoughts. While you can see the entries have been pretty sparse since 2012, I have kept up an "old school" journal with real ink and paper, and that has been good, at least. But back to that pull...

I don't have as much time as i did when i was blogging regularly, but i sure seem to have just as much thought and content to write about. My current running is on a sustained high that hasn't been reached in perhaps 6 years, I am coaching for the first time - my old high school at that, I'm back to running with a watch and absorbing information, feeling more open to the Spirit all around us, manifesting itself in more ways I am discovering,  and on top of all that, i'm just feeling so richly blessed with a wonderful family of a beautiful wife and three daughters. I find, like running, and the things which eventually set us up with balance, harmony, self giving and emptying joy and peace, are the items that we work with through motivated intention rightly channel to staying properly formed, becoming those who become subjects of gravity toward,s with more ease and smoother course, to the weight of love.

and that is something we are wise to remember. love is part and parcel with a weight. the pull of love. someone once wrote, to love is to feel pain. And i think that is it's core, a suffering, a longing, something that carries such a tug to emote and lash in a myriad of directions, still all stemming from a root of Love....perhaps that is how we know it as simple yet loved human conscious children. and this mass of perception is because we can recognize and catch glimpses of something beyond...something that shows up in mysterious ways, that speaks of unchangeable love. unconditional love. love that is perfect and weightless. because it doesn't need an anchor. it loves all with purity. the creator of it, the manifestation of the weight of love, and blanket-er of it whose spirit is peace and comfort. who unveils windows into this love that encompasses all, even the definers of it, and those who let it open them up to trust, wonders, and comfort as we go...and as we be.


maybe a race this Saturday. stay tuned. 

20 years a runner

Give or take a day or two, today marked the 20th year anniversary of me being a runner, and on a special note, it also coincided with me returning to the very place that trek began - Charlotte Christian School - but this time not as an incoming freshmen beginning his first season of cross country, but as an assistant coach. 

I remember that first day at practice in 1998 in August pretty clearly. With basketball shoes, long basketball shorts, and a semi bowl hair cut I ran the same two warm up laps I ran today, 20 years later, and started the course of my life that would take me literally thousands of miles (and more to come) and began the bond of friendships that still last, as well as a love affair with running that for the most part has stayed true and matured over all those years. 

The same trails were traversed today as a 34 year old as they were as a 14 year old. The pace probably not much different either, or the duration, as today - while in better shape - I sought out and latched on to a group of freshmen runners who I tried to encourage and begin with my relationship as not only their coach, but as a fellow runner who wants to share my love and any wisdom I've picked up that may help them open their eyes and carry them along the way. 

It was only day one as a coach, with modest beginnings to whatever kind of coaching career may be in store, but it was nonetheless a very special and almost mystical symmetry to the first 20 years of  me being a runner...a label that I include with whatever else may go along with it, but one that I am proud of and love, and one that I hope to impart on those other fellow Knights off Sardis Road as we run those trails off McAlpine that have so many fond memories. 

dont fall apart on me tonight

as Bob Dylan is one of my all time favorite singer songwriters, and i guess overall people, considering what he has shared and given to the world, the title above is a very nice song from 1983 that he played with another of my favorite artists on, Mark Knopfler. I was playing it tonight while feeding the last bottle of the night to our 1 month old baby girl, not only singing along, but also singing it to her with the hopes that she would obey the commands in order to give us a peaceful night, which has not really been the case since she arrived in this world, as it is with most newborns.

i rearranged the desk to how i like it, for the first time since we have been in this house, and now with the new computer, i am once again beckoned to type some keys on this here blog.

Since my last post, I purchased a watch. Kind of big news, with it being one of the staples with runners, the fact that I haven't worn one in 3 years - let alone almost 6 with one that was a gps watch, and since my second to last post was ABOUT watch-less running! suppose that may have been a subconscious signal that I was changing.

Naturally, I've been quite inquisitive and curious to run again with a time piece, and with this one being......a gps watch with the latest features for the runner, even all the more so. As would indicate, the last few weeks, despite adding a newborn baby, my running has been pretty consistently frequent. of course I can tell you, given the ease of data, about 20 miles a week with about 4 runs in a 7 day period. It's getting hot, and my energy is sometimes lower and just different with going through the changes, the speeds aren't dramatically dropping - yet they are going down (faster). So all of that playing into the mix, I am not displeased.

As i wrap this blog up, it bookends nicely with the current song playing behind me, Baby, Stop Cryin from an album previous to the opening paragraph's, 1978 Street Legal- which ALSO double bookends Bob's evangelical christian trio of albums from 1979 and 81 (also good albums), with the hopes for tonight's slumber while one month old daughter optimistically snoozes the night away.

this was a nice little post - i have more to say about running, much to begin and continue a hopeful usage of writting for what i enjoy the well being and settling nature of it, introspectively. it's kind of creative and meditative. and helpful and a staple in running like the watch...a runners log.

time and space

Nothing makes me more convinced that time and space are relative, than running the last 10k of a marathon. While the 6 marathons have all had unique experiences, the last part of the races have all shared a similar phenomena to varying degrees.

I believe a couple things start to open up during our runs. We begin to drift and settle into a trance of repetitive footfalls, breathing, and a lull of the speed of our vision the sights passing in our periphery. Mentally, we go from quick passing miles filled with adrenaline and optimism, into a drone of steady lapse during the middle of monotonous miles, until we start to hit, fight, and make our way through and beyond "the Wall." It is here where I have felt, along with countless other runners who may testify to the existence of what seems to be almost another dimension of the aforementioned shift of experience in time and space. I cant speak for all people, or even for all times of any given runner, but nonetheless having experienced this relativeness of our universal constructs shifting, where - time seems to almost freeze into a singularity of moment, and distance seems to stretch well beyond our conditioned experience of measurement, going through these final stages we come out on the other side of the finish line a new believer into worlds just beyond the veil, only entered through pain, trust, faith, fatigue, and strength synergized between mind, body, and spirit.

It was while listening to Audrey Assad's Joy of the Lord as I mowed the lawn today, that I began to muse on a collective thought from her words in the song, "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength", along with the pastor's reading in church today from Colossians 1:11, "being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance with patience with joy." As goes with most spiritual wisdom in the vein of counterintuitive-ness, it's not through an extraordinary portion of might or power that God gives, demonstrates, or teaches us in his showcase of strength, but it's through the ways of enduring, staying with, patience, faith, remaining, abiding, that we tap into and reflect and showcase the strength of God....that ultimately changes our trial into a joy, that is the result of a higher transformation, one that leaves us new and better, where as if we only were wielding the strength of God for our own advantage or short sighted, immature request to begin with. And so it goes, we come out of the refiners fire a better version or our self than we could dare even dream to ask going into our tribulation, trough, or dark night, that once again gives credence to God's ways being higher than ours.

the last thread that weaves into this post is drawing on the concept of time. Spiritual teachers of most traditions, including Christianity, will share that it is in the present that we can find peace. The hurt or pain of the past, and the anxiety of the future are not where we would be advised to spend our mental time. Reading C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters, he writes: "The Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is unknown,  UN-Realized. For the past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays."

When you are hitting the wall in a marathon, as time slams to a halt, and the miles stretch on like a never ending horizon, the only friend you have is the present moment. It's as if we have reached a point in our bodily and mental fatigue that has stripped away all unrealities, shedding the unnecessary weight mentally and spiritually that we can no longer bare to carry, that we come to a stark and sober clarity of the present that gets us through to the finish. Recalling what we've accomplished thus far will either leave us with regret of how we went about getting to this point of pain, or a sense of pride of having done enough as is it, that those thoughts could derail us, just as much as thinking of how far we still have to go, and how we ever are going to get there, questioning how it ever could be, is also equally as dangerous. The mantra becomes "one foot in front of the other" in a lock step of present moment that eventually we find that finish line tape.

the strength we find in our endurance of the race in a marathon, or the just as real analogous 'marathon of life', is where we ultimately find our joy in the completion of being carried through by coming face to face with the present. There isn't a strength to achieve patience, but patience is the achievement of strength. amen.

watchless running / Charlotte 10 Miler - Race Recap

The problem is, the more time that passes the more things I feel like i should fill in since the last post. Suppose that might be part of sensing I need to adhere to the overarching theme of this blog. But really what this writing does, for me anyway, is to conclude the fullness of the run (running produces so many thoughts - runners will understand this) where you uncork feelings sometimes adequately expressed, sometimes richer, sometimes fumbling to convey the experience - but nonetheless an outlet to give credence to the beauty of the ordinary and the magical, the painful and the soaring. And as an added bonus, in some ways it produces self motivation to have record of past experience to propel for future performance.

A running log is a staple of a runner. Metrics are vastly used in the sport during the act, and penning them is our scorecard to the days record for statistical qualifiers and missed marks, showcasing our ascent into being the best we can be. Also, honestly stating our struggles gives value to when we overcome the hardships and provides perspective to the fullness of our cycle.

My blog was humming well before I discovered Dr. George Sheehan, and when i discovered him and his works, I had let go of writing - but i have thought about practicing it again. Like he says, "never trust a thinker who is still." Running, like I said above, opens the mind for great thought and a space for the Spirit to speak. I read where a monk said that running is a little to much movement to achieve a definitive meditative state (where walking can achieve this given it's slower nature), but running comes pretty close. Of course, like with anything else, it's never guaranteed - this epiphany type state. Like our runs, where we think we are set for a great outing, we are left feeling dull and dry from time to time.

One of the thoughts I had today was, I think i want to get a running watch again. Now, i won't jump headfirst back into apparatuses and tools, but having gone almost three years watch-less, I think easing back in to something that keeps stopwatch and splits won't be too aggressive. And when i thought that i wanted a watch again, it made me think - relating back to Wonder Women which i watched the other night - where, in the movie, Wonder Women, who isn't really fully human is puzzled to discover that man subjects himself to "time". It was an interesting thought: Why do we do that? With running, we can attest that time is the biggest motivator. Knowing where the time is ticking can unleash great amounts of power we didn't suspect we had. And it made me wonder: could we still achieve the same great heights in running if time was not something we kept ourselves surrendered to? I find it hard to believe the true answer is Yes.

Watch-less running has been great though in keeping my delight in the endeavor long lasting. I haven't gotten to any point where I felt like I was weighed down by the numbers, and has taught me a good deal in listening to my body, and how I can respond with speeding up or slowing down without first deciding to upon looking at numbers. I think it was an asset in my last race, the Charlotte 10 miler just a week and a half ago.

I wanted to run faster than my last outing at this race, back in 2016, which was 109 flat. I felt like i was in similar shape, but had I watch on I would undoubtedly made it much harder to achieve the PR i did, besting that time by 2.5 mins. The first 2 miles when i asked a lady runner beside me what our time was, i was surprised. I felt okay pace wise, but was surprised to learn that I was clicking faster than my pace the previous race aforementioned.  With a watch I wouldn't have had the cushion that i earned running fast. I would have put on the breaks and succumbed to my ascribed pace, rather than being true to my body - which i was doing. 5 miles in, half way, i asked another fellow male runner our time and he said a little over 33. Well, i felt still in control, and that i Had enought to pick it up a little bit. While feeling like I was picking it up, in racing i do know that that only means you are maintaining - most of the time. So maintain i did,  and launched my to an even second half of the run, closing my race in 106.27. I was able to pick a few people off, and hold off anyone from passing me. The hill at mile 9 I tackled well, and the 10th mile I really picked it up, making up any lost time and then some, taking full advantage of the steady slight downhill straightaway.

Anyway, the word count is growing, and my eyelids are falling. Until next time.